The General
The last time I was in the General Hospital I was getting my appendix out. I stayed 3 days and two nights, and for all those days and a night my dad was right there beside me. HOWEVER, today was a different story.
It started when I went out at 7 am with my friends Elise and Caitlin. After Caitlin went home, and Elise and I went to Limeridge mall to hang out/ talk/ and to waste time. Once we walked around, and all that jazz it was time to go home. Then we went to Elise's house. {It was at this time that my dad had a seizure.} I was getting ready to do some painting at the church when my grandma called and said "Your dad had a bad seizure about 15 minutes ago, he is doing awful, the ambulance should be at your house now."- That wasn't my favourite thing to hear from the other end of the phone, but alright. Scott drove me to the bus stop, and I was on my way to the Hospital.
I really didn't want to go because, well . . . I wasn't too fond of my recent trip. But I wanted to see how my dad was doing. When I showed up the nurses wouldn't let me see him because they didn't think I was related. So I had to argue with them to make them understand as I would throw different ID. Yes, still a frusterating place, nothing has changed. Once they let me in, I saw my dad he was hooked up to "the internet" {different Plugs} and had a breathing mask on his face and IV needles. He looked alright though, usually he has tons of bruises, and cuts, or blood everywhere {quite gross} but he did look good. It was so sad to see him like that. The doctors gave him 10 pills to stop him from shaking. They put him right out.
As he was sleeping I thought of when I was in the hospital and when I was "sleeping" he would talk to me saying how proud he was of me, and how I will be alright. Totally monologuing. He used to do it a lot when I was small. But yeah. I caught myself doing it. I cryed a little remembering how much my dad has been there for me in the past, and how much he hasn't. For those reasons I wanted to be there for him.
Once dad woke up I smiled at him. He told me he was scared, and I held his hand. Until the Valum Kicked in and he fell asleep again. I don't know what I am going to do when I leave. I know dad will have more seizures, and everything else that is wrong with him, and I won't be there for him when he needs me. I'm afraid of leaving and something horrible happening to him, or even my brother. But Nick is healthy, but him and dad do not get along so there is a sace there. Dad is FAR from it. I know that he is slowly dying, or slowly killing himself. It's hard to think about. I shouldn't but seeing him like I do, It's hard.
I pray for him a lot. At home, or at church where ever I am. So I ask who reads this to pray. Help me pray.
Until he is better I have to stay by him {except when I have to go home like now} I have to make sure he knows that I am there for him, and he is going to be okay.
-Samara
It started when I went out at 7 am with my friends Elise and Caitlin. After Caitlin went home, and Elise and I went to Limeridge mall to hang out/ talk/ and to waste time. Once we walked around, and all that jazz it was time to go home. Then we went to Elise's house. {It was at this time that my dad had a seizure.} I was getting ready to do some painting at the church when my grandma called and said "Your dad had a bad seizure about 15 minutes ago, he is doing awful, the ambulance should be at your house now."- That wasn't my favourite thing to hear from the other end of the phone, but alright. Scott drove me to the bus stop, and I was on my way to the Hospital.
I really didn't want to go because, well . . . I wasn't too fond of my recent trip. But I wanted to see how my dad was doing. When I showed up the nurses wouldn't let me see him because they didn't think I was related. So I had to argue with them to make them understand as I would throw different ID. Yes, still a frusterating place, nothing has changed. Once they let me in, I saw my dad he was hooked up to "the internet" {different Plugs} and had a breathing mask on his face and IV needles. He looked alright though, usually he has tons of bruises, and cuts, or blood everywhere {quite gross} but he did look good. It was so sad to see him like that. The doctors gave him 10 pills to stop him from shaking. They put him right out.
As he was sleeping I thought of when I was in the hospital and when I was "sleeping" he would talk to me saying how proud he was of me, and how I will be alright. Totally monologuing. He used to do it a lot when I was small. But yeah. I caught myself doing it. I cryed a little remembering how much my dad has been there for me in the past, and how much he hasn't. For those reasons I wanted to be there for him.
Once dad woke up I smiled at him. He told me he was scared, and I held his hand. Until the Valum Kicked in and he fell asleep again. I don't know what I am going to do when I leave. I know dad will have more seizures, and everything else that is wrong with him, and I won't be there for him when he needs me. I'm afraid of leaving and something horrible happening to him, or even my brother. But Nick is healthy, but him and dad do not get along so there is a sace there. Dad is FAR from it. I know that he is slowly dying, or slowly killing himself. It's hard to think about. I shouldn't but seeing him like I do, It's hard.
I pray for him a lot. At home, or at church where ever I am. So I ask who reads this to pray. Help me pray.
Until he is better I have to stay by him {except when I have to go home like now} I have to make sure he knows that I am there for him, and he is going to be okay.
-Samara
posted by Samara Ashley @ 5:14 PM
1 Comments:
At 9:50 AM,
Katherine Karen said…
I will pray for you, your dad, and Nick. Cast all your worry unto the Lord, for he cares for you.
I Love You Samara.
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